Merry Christmas!

...so it's December 26th and I had a great christmas yesterday. Matt and I are about to bounce to go watch a movie with some friends but I just wanted to say merry christmas to everyone!

Dream Psychosis

...so I had the weirdest dream last night! I dreamt that I was trying to be seduced by a two-headed female stripper (kinda like the Indian God Vishnu - but skanky). The stripper had long necks and the two heads were doing "The Snake" ala Janet-Jackson-in-the-Control-videoclip. I find it disturbing that I dreamt this especially because:

a) I don't find two-headed people attractive (apologies to any conjoined twins reading this), and
b) I don't find female strippers attractive

I may need help interpreting this.

I received an early morning random phone call from Steve, Audrey and Girlie in New York. It felt like they were calling me from a party where everyone was drunk - except it was 5.30pm there. They're debating whether Steve should have christmas eve at Riss' house or with his new gay friend. I know which one I'd pick. =o)

9 hours and 27 minutes til I'm on vacation! WOO HOO!

Song of the day: "Informer" - Snow (HA!)

'Tis The Season

...so the last EVER PeopleSoft christmas party was on two nights ago and I left a little bit worse for wear. It was a champagne-fuelled night and hey - who can say no to free alcohol? Why does "I Never" always get played at my christmas parties? I swear it's not me.

I actually didn't feel like blogging today (or yesterday) but certain members of my blogger readership peer-pressured me into it. These people are called "commenters". They don't have blogs of their own, but they comment on other people's blogs. It's a weird kind of yin-yang for the online age. Without bloggers, these people have no outlet. Without commenters, bloggers don't get the justification for blogging. 'Coz really - if a blog falls in the forest, does anybody hear? *cue X-Files music*

Song of the day: "All I Want For Christmas Is You" - Mariah Carey (It was playing at a cafe I walked past this morning and I haven't been able to get the bloody song out of my head!)

Throbbing Pain

...so you know what hurts? Cutting your toenails too short. You know what I mean - when you cut it so short that it's almost bleeding and it's just this dull, throbbing pain with every step? It's right up there with stubbing your big toe and paper cuts.

Just got home from a really great dinner at Jonny and Jenny's (my favourite irish people on this earth) place. We had potato cakes with sour cream, chives and salmon for appetizers, roast chicken with stuffing, roast potatoes, roast pumpkin, carrots, peas and gravy for mains and apple crumble with cream and icecream for dessert - and 5 or 6 bottles of wine to wash it all down. Talk about your good (and plentiful!) food! I love hanging out with my irish mates 'coz you're always guaranteed a good time and plenty of stories. Thanks again guys!

One week before christmas and I've finished all my christmas shopping. Woo hoo!

Ew.

...so Steve and I were on chat yesterday - as we do pretty much every day during the week. Yesterday he was regaling how he doesn't eat in bed 'coz crumbs get everywhere and he had a traumatic experience as a child when he couldn't sleep 'coz of all the crumbs so he had to sleep on the floor. Anyway, the conversation went a bit like this:

Ray: I'm so crumbing your bed next time.
Steve: If you do that, I'm gonna shit on your shoes.
Ray: I'll shit in your bike helmet. At least I don't have to put my head in my shoes.
Steve: I'll shit on your laptop keyboard.
Ray: I'll use all your beanies as toilet paper.
Steve: I'll vomit bile into a little bag and hide it in your closet and you won't know where that stench is coming from.
Ray: I'll cum on all your spoons.
Steve: That's gross. If you do that, I'll get live fish and put them in your bed (I have a fish-phobia for those who don't know).
Ray: Ok then...if you do that, I'll touch myself while watching you shower. Game over.
Steve: See you always go there. You're using a tactic that I can't use.

And i'm the winner!

Great weekend coming up. Tonight is work drinks followed by Ed's dance recital (He's playing baby jesus in a hip hop nativity dance troupe - No. Seriously). Tomorrow is shopping followed by dinner @ Jonny's. Sunday is yum cha with friends followed by Kris Kringle dinner @ Ed's. It's all happening!

Song of the day: "Love...Thy Will Be Done" - Martika

Critical Mass

...so I was informed last night by a friend of mine that I must have too much time on my hands to write in my blog (almost) daily. Another friend told me that my blog is too "Seinfeld-ian" (What is that anyway?). I should take those as compliments eh? My bad for being consistent and witty! I kinda thought Seinfeld was annoying though - Don't shoot me Maria.

I was on the bus this morning and this slightly overweight (not fat enough to be called fat, but not skinny enough to pull off her outfit) woman was wearing a boob tube that said "Happy Holidays". Who knew they made those?

Song of the day: "Mmm Bop" - Hanson

Oraclesoft

...so the company that I've worked for (PeopleSoft) for seven years, one month and eighteen days has officially been taken over by Oracle. It kinda sucks knowing that the company you've worked so long for isn't going to exist any more. It sucks even more knowing that you may not work with some of your friends any more.

The biggest suck of all is that the Oracle CEO is stating that this is a great merger of two companies and it just...irrits me to tears. It was a HOSTILE TAKEOVER you bastard! Call a spade a spade...not a...rake!

Anyway, once all the dust settles who knows if I'll have a job or not. If I don't though - all you Hawaii and New York people expect to see me real soon!

Song of the Day: "Beat It" - Michael Jackson

Charity Shmarity

...so I'm on my way to the food court near work for lunch and just like every day, the charity of the moment was out in force. Normally I'm quite giving for the cause if I deem it worthy of my change. Today's cause is cerebral palsy which is a very worth cause. Unfortunately, the cerebral palsy volunteers (all thirty of them) were lined up to the entrance of the food court - all of them ringing a huge ass bell. I'm sure they were breaking some sound ordinances. I felt like donating them headbutts.

Watched "Oceans 12" on the weekend. I really didn't like how Tess (Julia Roberts) pretended she was Julia Roberts and how Linus (Matt Damon)'s mum got them out of jail. Oops did I just give some of the movie away?

Song of the day: "We Fit Together" - O-Town (YES YES that's so gay...shut up!)

Mi amigo Esteban

...so one of my best friends Steve has moved to New York (about a month or so ago) and he registered in my thought processes last night. Does "registered in my thought processes" sound too gay and oooh-I'm-so-intellectual? Eh. Whatever. I digress.

I was looking through old pictures last night and we've shared quite a few experiences in the past ten years that I've known him. Unfortunately none of them have been homosexual. Yet. :)
Having spent a few christmases (christmasii?) away from home I know how bleh it can be being away from your friends and family around the holiday season...so in honour of Mr Ricarte "Steve" Devera:

Top 5 things I miss about Steve:
5. His rock hard pecs and nipples that could cut glass
4. His sense of humour - Who knew that a joke about "frice" (that's fries + rice for the uninformed) could last for two months?
3. His smile that seems to attract more men than women (Hi Courtney!)
2. The way he'll "borrow" your car and not tell you about it
and number one... *drum roll*
1. Just knowing he's around for whenever you need someone to lift your spirits and convince you that you really want to eat KFC

To Steve! *clink glass* (That was a cheers by the way...)



Song of the day: "Numb/Encore" - Linkin Park/Jay-Z

Internet drip-feed

...so the internet server went down at work today from 12.30 - 3.30pm and I didn't know what to do. Suddenly all I had to do was actual WORK! *gasp* I felt lost and meandered around the office without a purpose.

Apparently I've been told I blog too often. Since when were there rules about how often *I* am allowed to put *MY* thoughts out there? ME ME ME! It's all about me! Stop making it about you and your disdain for my frequent blogs. :)

I received two emails from friends I haven't heard from in a while today (after the internet came back up *hugs network technician*). That's always nice. And just yesterday I caught the bus with a friend's ex-girlfriend that I haven't seen in years. I think my karma is trying to tell me something. I don't know what that is yet. I'll let you know when I figure it out.

This guy at work uses the "bunny ears" (You know when you use your fingers to "quote" something? It's hard to describe not-in-person) thing incorrectly and it's really starting to piss me off. He'll be wanting to point out that the testing database supposedly isn't ready and he'll be all...

GAW (Guy-At-Work): The technical team are saying that the "testing" database isn't ready.
Me: *secret-thought-in-my-head* Idiot.

I'd say something to him but I don't want to add to his list of insecurities. I don't think we're close enough to piss on each other's insecurities just yet. My definition of a friend is someone who can piss on your insecurities and still be cool with you (Wassup Miko!).

Song of the day: "Wonderful Tonight" - Eric Clapton

Pong.

...so i'm at GloboGym last night happily sweating my ass off on the elliptical runner and I'm cruising along for a good 20 minutes and who happens to come along and start running next to me? Stenchy Sweats-a-lot Guy. I can appreciate the fact that we're at a gym and you're bound to sweat but COME ON. This guy must've been secreting garbage, shit and vomit at the same time.

What was kinda funny was that when his unwelcome pong started wafting across the rest of the room you could PHYSICALLY SEE the wave of stench overcome individuals. People started breathing out of their mouths or breathing through their t-shirts. I couldn't take it any more so I went downstairs to the weights floor (AKA gay-nightclub-floor-with-all-the-ugly-weeded-out) where Matt was working out. I have overcome my fear of the muscle marys and started to do weights.

Matt's quite serious when he works out. He even has a schedule on a pad and he ticks off each station. I, on the other hand, try and make Matt laugh when he's in the middle of a 100kg bench press. Matt does not appreciate this. Matt also takes serious issue when random-muscle-guy takes his bottle of water.

Matt: "Excuse me?"
RMG (Random Muscle Guy): "Oh are you using this machine?"
Matt: "NO. I'M USING THIS BOTTLE OF WATER." *glare*
RMG: "Wanna fuck?" OK, I added this one myself.

I remember when Matt and I first started dating and he was the sweetest, most gracious being on Earth. Now he roadrages like he's on steroids and glares at RMG's who make the mistake of drinking from his water bottle. I'm so proud.

Song of the day: "Don't Ya" - Tori Alamaze

Laughter is the best...skanks

...so i'm at lunch at Burger King today (YES i'm going to the gym after work) and there were these two guys in suits literally laughing their guts out. You know when you're laughing so hard that you're doubled over in pain and snot is flying out and your eyes are closed and you're tearing? THAT kinda laughing their guts out. I haven't laughed that hard in a while.

I think I know of two people that laugh with no noise coming out when they're laughing really hard: Matt and Stevie. Anyone else out there silent laughers? I know Maria ain't a silent laugher. You can hear her laughing from three kilometers away. Underwater. With your head in a pillow. Wearing earplugs. Hi Maz!

Song of the day: "Kryptonite" - Guy Sebastian

*yawn*

...so it's 9.42pm and I'm still at work. Go figure! You know when you're at work trying to meet a deadline that you kinda know you're not gonna meet but you still hope you can? And then you come across errors that make you DEFINITELY know you're not gonna meet your deadline but you figure you'll try and make it work anyway? No? Ok, so I *AM* the only freak.

My friends in New Jersey and New York ended up going to IKEA on the weekend. Add to that the fact that Stevie in NYC *ALSO* went to IKEA on the weekend. How freaky is that? Everyong going to IKEA in two different continents on the same weekend. No? Ok I'm getting tired.

The katsu don I had for dinner is totally repeating on me. Look out.

White vs Yellow

...so i'm home alone on a Saturday night doing my ironing and coughing up so much phlegm it's crazy. I thought I was getting over this flu but apparently drinking and smoking doesn't help much. Steve and I were chatting this morning about phlegm and he reckons that the deep yellow phlegm (which is what i'm hacking up) is you're-still-sick and the white phlegm is you're-getting-better.

I hope tomorrow is an all white phlegm day.

TGIF

...so i just got back from what's becoming a semi-regular friday night thing - after-work drinks then superbowl! There is nothing like good drinks, good food and good conversation with great friends. Not just old friends, but also new friends (Wassup Scott!).

The crappy thing though, is that some of those nights Matt has to work and misses out. Don't worry babe - I'll make it up to you :)

Going to the new Ikea superstore tomorrow. $2.50 plants rock!

The First One

...so I'm chatting with Steve over in NYC about the proliferation of blogs and how I always thought blogging (is that a verb now?) was a tad ego-centric. And then it dawned on me - who am I kidding? I AM ego-centric! So here it is...the first one.

I suppose that because this is my first entry it should be profound or something. Blah. It's Friday afternoon and I'm just looking forward to drinks after work @ GPO.

Song of the day: "The Real Thing" - Gwen Stefani